Raising an Only Child: 9 Tips for Parents
Parents with two or more children usually envy parents with a single child as they think that raising an only child is a walk in the park. As it turns out, this is not true, as one can child can sometimes be more demanding than two or three children.
We offer parents a short guide with 9 top tips on how to raise an only child.
Helping the child discover his/her passion
Kids who have siblings are inquisitive by nature, as their innate curiosity is constantly fueled through play. On the other side, a single child finds it harder to find his or her inner passion. They have to rely on their parents to ignite their natural inquisitiveness.
As a parent, your role is to help your kid find what they are passionate about. Try out everything from swimming lessons to Maths classes to see what your child’s fortes are. Once you two discover their true passion, it’s time to fuel it to the max!
Don’t be a helicopter parent
It’s bad enough that helicopter parents exist but it seems that parents with a single child are more likely to over-care for their offspring. This is expected but you are not doing your only child a favor if you are constantly hovering over them.
Apart from shepherding them everywhere, which alone is annoying, kids hate it the most when they are not allowed to test their boundaries. Sure, climbing a swing might be dangerous but this is how children explore the world around them.
Playful fighting
If you have ever watched a wildlife documentary, then you have noticed how lion cubs, for instance, wrestle each other. We might be intelligent beings but human offspring play in much the same way. Most fights in kindergarten and later at school are benign, so you shouldn’t worry too much about them.
Bruises are perfectly normal and expected, as your child physically interacts with other children. Since they have no siblings to play with, such naïve skirmishes with their peers are the only opportunity for your child to test their strength.
Also, verbal conflicts are also normal, as children learn to work out differences between them. Sometimes, a teacher or another parent will be there to act as the mediator but at other times, children should learn to talk to one another to resolve their petty squabbles.
Socialization before school
Having mentioned kindergarten and school, by the time your child is old enough to attend any of the two educational institutions, they should already be socialized to an extent. Since this is impossible back home, an early learning childcare centre is perfect for discovering how interpersonal relationships work.
There are plenty of these centres today, so you shouldn’t have trouble finding one near your place of residence. Apart from hanging around other children, your children will receive education at a childcare centre, so don’t be surprised if they can read a bit by the time they enroll in preschool.
Promoting empathy from an early age
Children are more inherently emphatic than adults, there is denying of this fact. However, an only child doesn’t get the opportunity to care about other people, i.e. children.
Since they have no siblings, it’s up to the parents to teach the young ones about the importance of empathy and how to properly express it.
You can teach your child by example by volunteering at a Red Cross kitchen. After they see that it’s normal to help other people, they will grow into more compassionate individuals. Also, an integral part of empathy is sharing material possessions.
The value of sharing
The only child isn’t selfish or possessive on their own. They don’t have to share anything with anyone, so they don’t feel the urge to lend their class buddy a notebook, for instance.
However, both the parent and the kindergarten teacher can influence this behavior by forcing the child to share his/her toys and food with other children. If you educate them correctly, your child might be more generous than children who have siblings!
Every hour is a play date
It is a well-known fact that children learn best through play, either alone or with other children. The latter scenario is of more interest to you as the parent, as play dates have a huge role in the child’s cognitive development.
You should actively expose your child to a variety of social settings, so they gain valuable experience. Admittedly, children learn from playtime with their parents but nothing can substitute per interaction. The sooner you start scheduling play dates with other parents, the sooner will your kid develop social skills.
Give the child the freedom they need
being an only child isn’t a bad thing, quite the opposite. In families with two or more children, strict rules have to be obeyed to maintain any sense of order. An only child doesn’t have to adhere to similarly strict rules, which grants them greater freedom than other children.
This freedom will allow your child to pursue their passions, as mentioned before. However, this doesn’t mean that they can do whatever they like, you are still the parent, i.e. custodian and they should constantly be made aware of this. The only child’s personal freedom is by no means absolute and unconditional.
Individualism is a good thing
We live in a world where people who accept everything seem to fare best in life. However, this is only seemingly, so you should encourage individualism in your child from an early age. Of course, they should obey the rules at school and respect other children and adults but also “have their own thing.”
Namely, if your child is self-reliant, then he or she won’t yield to negative peer pressure. Furthermore, they will be able to reach decisions on their own, which is essential for reaching adulthood.
A child can always decide later on to become part of the ground but while under your custody, they should be taught the advantages of individualism.
Raising an only child is hard in the sense that the lack of siblings makes it difficult for the young one to socialize. However, by adopting the 9 tips listed above, you ensure your only child grows up into an empathic individual that will contribute to society in a productive manner.