Expecting Your First Grandchild: A Nervous But Exciting Moment For Grandmas To Be
Are you expecting your first grandchild? You are likely feeling both nervous and excited, depending on the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy. The first grandchild is usually one of those monumental periods of time in life when you reorganize and reconfigure everything you thought you knew about life. For multiple years now, you had the belief that you were never going to be able to love any thing (or anyone) as much as you love your own kids. That is also about to become a myth. When you lay eyes on your first grandchild for the first time, you are going to feel as though you’ve been given a second opportunity at life and love.
With all of these high expectations, it is natural to be disappointed. No, not in your grandchild of course but rather in all the ways you had hoped for things to turn out. Many a times, grandparents are so thrilled about this huge event in their lives that they tend to forget that this baby has parents who are excited also. Most likely, your own child and their spouse are both going to work hard to assert themselves and define their own role of parenting.
Brand new mothers and fathers have some pretty big shoes to fill and most feel a bit awkward, and un-confident at first. If you are the type of grandparent that tries to take over and want to handle everything, offer too much advice, and act like your grown child and spouse are incapable of caring for their baby, you are likely going to see your grandchild less than you wish.
Why is this the case? Sometimes, the sheer excitement of it all tends to make you forget that you may not always be welcome in your child’s house. They are entering a new chapter of life and it will take some adjustments and trial and error on their part, so as to get it right. If you happen to be visiting every opportunity you get and planning your weekends around your grandbaby without being respectful of your own child, you are very likely being pushy and overbearing and that won’t be appreciated at all.
This could lead to some resentment. With your first grandchild, you are quite likely to just walk over the birth parents as well, without meaning to intentionally, which they are going to take as you undermining their parenting ability. Do not forget that although you are on cloud nine and cannot wait to spend every last waking moment with your grandchild you have to ensure you permit the new family some space of their own. A bit of respect and holding your tongue can go a very long way in helping forge long lasting bonds that aren’t tainted with resentment.
There is no doubt that you are going to want to spoil your first grandchild. Maybe you are in a situation in your life where you have a lot of time and means to give, give and give some more. When you were upbringing your own kids, you knew good and well that spoiling them would only make life harder for you. Yet now you have the ability to do anything you desire with your own grandkids. Just be sure that you do not overdo it. Do try to keep your giving moderate so that you do not overwhelm the child nor put more stress in your own child’s life. With regards to spoiling you have every right to do so if you want to. Instead of being the type of grandparent that is always giving stuff of monetary value, try to spoil your first with your time, love, abundant knowledge and nurturing spirit. You possess a different angle on life now that you have brought up your own children and have the ability to see the perfect areas where grandparents could make a huge impact.
You do not have to be in a hurry, you could sit on the floor and read books or play blocks for hours upon hours. You can rock your baby grandchild to sleep and still sit down for another hour holding onto your sleeping grand sweetheart. Your first grandchild is going to grow up knowing that grandma and grandpa are there for extra love and always have the time and attention the kid may be in need of; even if the parents do not.
Since you desire to be the spoiler, you must think about whether or not you are willing to be involved in the day to day caring for or babysitting of your first grandbaby. Do not forget that beyond the early days, this implies that you are also going to have to be part of the disciplining and upbringing of the grandchild. In addition, you are going to have to adhere to rules and schedules that are put forth by the parents so as to maintain consistency for the child. If you do not believe that you are going to be capable of doing this, then it might be in your best interest to kindly bow out of a long-term childcare position. Failing to do so, could lead to some relationship difficulties down the line.
With your first grandchild, there comes a lot of dreams. A lot of grandparents desire to make up for the errors they may have felt like they made while upbringing their own children, by spoiling or simply doing things in a different way with the grandchild. You are correct that the relationship between a parent and child, and a grandparent and child are completely different. However, it is vital to keep in mind that no matter what you are always going to be a very fundamental part of your grandchild’s life and future.
Numerous studies have shown that kids that are brought up in close proximity to their grandparents not only excel in school, but also have a firm familial foundation in place that allows them to feel more loved and boosts their overall morale. You have a lot of things to teach your grandchild. Gather all of your exhilaration and love and ensure you funnel it within this little life that is going to certainly be a big part of changing yours.
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