How to Deal with an Unreasonable Parent and Deciding Co-Parenting Arrangements?
Disclaimer: This blog is only intended for educational purposes and shouldn’t be used as a substitute for legal advice.
Sharing custody with a person you once thought to spend your whole life with is fraught with stress and anxiety. Canada has the 29th highest divorce rate out of 87 countries.
That’s a lot of families breaking up and being confused about how to raise their children moving forward. Having an unreasonable ex will only make it worse.
Dealing with Unreasonable Co-Parents
A pattern of high-conflict co-parenting is nothing new. However, it doesn’t change the fact that it can have consequences on not only your children but also your sanity. Fortunately, there are ways to deal with an unreasonable parent.
Try to Stay Away from Arguments
If you’re dealing with an unreasonable co-parent, you’ve already been through the blame game. The child falling from their bike? You weren’t watching them enough. A rash on the arm? You don’t take care of their health right. And round and round the blame goes.
You and your former partner might be triggered by each other’s presence, but the children will bear the brunt of it. Often in ways you didn’t even imagine. Don’t argue. It’ll keep you stuck in this endless cycle of unhealthy drama and take attention away from what’s important: your kids.
Let the accusation float over you, take the blame to turn into a problem that you can provide a solution for. Remember: Do not engage in futile arguments.
Address the Issues
Communication is important, we’ve heard that enough. When kids are involved in a separation, it’s more important than ever. Discontinuing communication with a person who’s getting on your last nerve might sound tempting, but your children can get caught in the middle.
Children should enjoy their childhoods without getting stuck in the adult role of sharing information. Even if the other parent ghosts, keep the communication line open from your end. Address the issues you’re seeing in a non-confrontational manner.
Avoid Trash Talking
Children learn from example, and you need to be an exemplary one even when that seems difficult to do. Many parents don’t understand the impact their words will have, and they need to be made aware of the consequences.
No matter how angry or hurt you are on your partner’s actions and with the subsequent divorce, trash-talking them will make the kids lose respect. An action that can blow back on you and their relationship with their other parents.
If your partner is the one trashing you verbally or non-verbally, address the issue. Setting co-parenting rules will be a good place to start.
Never Push and Lead by Example
It’ll be helpful to remind yourself that whatever is causing the yo-yo treatment has a solution. You and your ex are stuck in a battle where you’re both in new roles. This is the time when you must set an example, even if it’s just for the kids. If you and your ex set up boundaries, never push past them.
Involve Your Lawyers
Assuming you’ve already tried every method of communicating with your former spouse and it doesn’t work, you need legal intervention. Even after explaining how their actions can be detrimental to the child if they still put their anger first, you might need to take drastic measures.
If a cooperative co-parenting relationship seems like a far-fetched goal, your lawyer can help. They’ll help you set up co-parenting goals and establish the much-needed boundaries between you and your ex.
Co-Parenting the Right Way: Some Tips
Co-parenting is rarely easy, but it’s necessary if you wish to give your kids stability, security, and a close relationship with both their parents.
Separate Your Past Relationship with the Co-parenting One
The key to a successful co-parenting relationship is realizing that this is the only one that’s left between you and your partner. This is possible when you realize that what you had with your ex is in the past. Now you both need to move forward and do what’s best for the kids.
Improve Communication
You should always be aiming for co-parenting consistency. Set up rules, disciplinary actions, and schedules mutually. Don’t sweat the small stuff and find a compromise. This is possible when you communicate. More importantly, this communication should stay between the parents only.
Co-Parent as a Team
Even if you’re not together, you are a team when it comes to raising your kids. Work as a team. Create parenting plans and find a balance.
READ MORE: A Comprehensive Guide to Creating Parenting Plans
Resolve Disagreements
Respect can go a long way to establishing a positive co-parenting relationship. Keep talking. Even if you disagree, you may find common ground. If that doesn’t work, involve a neutral third party.
Overcome Co-Parenting Problems with Professional Help
The impact of divorce cannot be overstated. Divorce is capable of not only disrupting your mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing, but it can also enable your financial wellbeing.
Nanda & Associate Lawyers are the best-rated Canadian immigration lawyers in Mississauga. They have a team of experienced family lawyers that can assist in resolving co-parenting disputes.
They take the time to get to know you and your situation and then devise a plan of action personalized to your needs. They have helped families during the separation period, helped foreigners’ study in Canada, and more.
Book a consultation and let them help you out with your case.
About the Author
An experienced and reliable family lawyer at Nanda and Associate Lawyers, the author has helped many parents come to acceptable agreements during his career. He has assisted many with their custody and separation concerns by offering reliable assistance.
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