The Ultimate Gift Buying and Giving Guide

A gift becomes truly special when you take out the time to choose it well. The receiver is bound to feel pleased with a gift that has some connection to their personality. It proves that you have put in thought and effort to make them feel special and loved. Gift-giving is more than just an exchange of material presents. There is an entire psychology behind this act and it tells you why gift-giving is so important from an emotional point of view and how it strengthens relationships and bonds.

1. Philosophy & Psychology of Gift Giving

Gift giving and receiving is one of the most important aspects of celebrating festivals and holidays. Besides being a ritual, the act of giving gifts also has numerous psychological benefits, both for the giver and receiver. It is a way of expressing gratitude, love and appreciation and goes a long way in strengthening bonds with family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.

According to Devin A. Byrd, Ph.D., chair and associate professor, Department of Behavioral Sciences at South University, Savannah, an individual experiences an “emotional lift” while looking for a gift. In a sense, gift exchanges could reveal how you think about the other person and what they enjoy and value. It says a lot about your relationship with that person and how you wish to strengthen it.

A lot of research is being conducted on the different aspects associated with gift-giving such as how people select gifts, what goes into understanding the likes and dislikes of the receiver and the impact of gift-giving on the relationship. This research suggests that gift-giving has been followed as a ritual in numerous cultures for more than forty years. People give gifts to each other when celebrating various life events, as a way of nurturing close relationships, for encouraging economic exchange and for socializing purposes.

Gift-Giving in Primitive Culture

Marcel Mauss, a French anthropologist, wrote an essay in 1954 and gave a detailed analysis of the process of gift-giving. He examined gift-giving as an act in different primitive, isolated societies and came to the conclusion that gift-giving was a self-perpetuating scheme of reciprocity. He offered a summary of three kinds of obligations that preserve gift-giving:

An obligation to give

An obligation to receive and

An obligation to repay

A large percentage of the gift exchanges which are aimed at safeguarding social ties and relationships take place within a structure at ritualized occasions like Christmas, birthdays etc. Such ritualized occasions contribute towards the maintenance of established relationships. A series of gift exchanges (following the principle of reciprocity) help in building transactional relationships between individuals.

Role of Perceptions in Gift Giving

Every now and then people face a creative challenge when they have to find a gift for somebody, a gift that would be appreciated.

Those who are more perceptive than the other will understand that such a challenge involves quite a bit of psychology. So what is the psychology behind gift-giving?

Well, the thoughts, feelings and emotions of the person who is giving the gift come first. And then due consideration needs to be given to the thoughts, feelings and emotions of the receiver as well.

Social psychology can greatly help in solving the puzzle of gift-giving – what to give, how to give, whom to give and when to give. Early research done on gift giving reveals that the process of ‘gift shopping’ itself could be the first area of examination when studying the psychology behind gift giving. For instance, women are found to be more interested in gift shopping as compared to men (this may be more true for “traditional” men).

What does a gift say about you?

Generally speaking, you can adopt two different strategies when trying to buy the “perfect gift” for someone. These are:

Recipient-focused

Giver-focused

If you decide to adopt the recipient-focus strategy, then you will need to find a gift which in some way reflects the personality of the receiver. For instance, purchasing a painting done by your friend’s artist is an example of recipient-focused gift giving.

In the second strategy, i.e. giver-focused gift giving, you might consider looking for something which reflects your own personality or interests. For instance, you could buy a book for your friend that is written by your favorite author. In this way, you are sharing something about yourself with your friend through a gift. This is an example of giver-focused gifting.

Gift Giving is good for Mental Health

We have all experienced an immense sense of satisfaction upon seeing the joy and gratitude on the face of somebody who has received a gift from us. It is one of the most common and effective ways of expressing feelings and emotions, especially to those with whom you share a close relationship, e.g. parents, spouse, children, grandparents, friends etc. By giving a gift, you are often reinforcing acknowledgement and appreciation of one another in the relationship.

Psychologists are of the opinion that gift-giving stimulates a good feeling inside an individual. And it also has certain extrinsic benefits.

When gifts are exchanged between friends, the process usually involves a lot of thinking. However, in the case of a romantic relationship, the two people may also place a lot of emphasis on the ‘sentiment’. Simply put, gift-giving reflects the intensity of our connection with a certain individual.

According to psychologists, another concept behind gift giving is using it as a means to minimize guilt. Sometimes you may find yourself in situation wherein you are unable to attend a special occasion or a celebration of a loved one. At such times, you may send them a gift instead to ‘make up’ for your absence. You may feel hugely satisfied if you are able to get the right gift for the person as you know it would make them extremely happy and they may overlook your inability to make it their special occasion. And of course, it helps in reducing the guilt too.

Psychological research on gift-giving indicates that people tend to feel happier when the gift they receive is something that they had themselves asked for rather than it being a surprise or something which they didn’t want. When the gift giver and receiver are not on the same page, the gift giving process may become complicated, involving a lot of guess work and doubt. You could actually discreetly ask the receiver about what they would like to get as a gift on a festival or special occasion. This way you are guaranteed to get a positive reaction from them when they receive the gift.

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